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Tag Archives: Emotional Intelligence

Most everyone has experienced a relationship that turned toxic.

If you have, you know they’re a major drain on your energy, productivity, and happiness.

In a study from Georgetown University, 98% of people reported experiencing toxic behaviour at work.

The study found that toxic relationships negatively influence employees and their organizations in nine notable ways:

  1. 80% lost work time worrying about the incidents.
  2. 78% said that their commitment to the organization declined.
  3. 66% said that their performance declined.
  4. 63% lost work time avoiding the offender.
  5. 47% intentionally decreased the time spent at work.
  6. 38% intentionally decreased the quality of their work.
  7. 25% admitted to taking their frustration out on customers.
  8. 12% said that they left their job because of it.
  9. 48% intentionally decreased their work effort.

While the turnover from toxic relationships is costly, the real cost is the lost productivity and emotional distress experienced by people who are stuck in these relationships.

We may not be able to control the toxicity of other people, but we can control how we respond to them, and this has the power to alter the course of a relationship. Before a toxic relationship can be neutralized, you must intimately understand what’s making it toxic in the first place. Toxic relationships develop when one person’s needs are no longer met or someone or something is interfering with the ability to maintain a healthy and productive relationship.


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If you are facing the prospect of redundancy, living through it, dealing with the aftermath, or supporting team colleagues at risk, this can be a very upsetting and emotional time.

All concerned may be experiencing feelings of shock, anger, ‘why is this happening to me/us?’ and be fearful of what the future holds.

This article offers advice on coping with the stress of redundancy and practical tips on how those impacted by the situation can move forward.

1.Take control of your finances

Although you may dread doing it, one of the most important things you should do is get your finances in order. Think about your financial responsibilities and get a clear picture of your financial situation. What are your priorities e.g. mortgage, debts and essential outgoing payments? Devising a monthly budget can be a useful way of tracking and keeping control of your spending. Consider your financial position in relation to your needs. Could this provide you with an opportunity to change the way you live?

2. Keep your morale up

It is important to stay positive, and focus your efforts on moving forward from the situation, rather than dwelling on it with feelings of anger and resentment.


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Most managers prefer to use a supportive leadership style that encourages direct reports to seek out their own solutions in accomplishing their tasks at work.

But that style is only appropriate when the direct report has moderate to high levels of competence and mostly needs encouragement to develop the confidence to become self-sufficient.

What about the other times when people are brand new to a task, disillusioned, or looking for new challenges?  In these three cases, just being supportive will not provide people with the direction they need to succeed.  In fact, just being supportive will often delay or frustrate performance.

The best managers learn how to tailor their management style to the needs of their employees.  For example, if an employee is new to a task, a successful manager will use a highly directive style—clearly setting goals and deadlines.  If an employee is struggling with a task, the manager will use equal measures of direction and support.  If the employee is an expert at a task, a manager will use a delegating style on the current assignment and focus instead on coming up with new challenges and future growth projects.

Are your managers able to flex their style?

Research by The Ken Blanchard Companies shows that leadership flexibility is a rare skill. In looking at the percentage of managers who can successfully use a Directing, Coaching, Supporting, or Delegating style as needed, Blanchard has found that 54 % of leaders typically use only one leadership style, 25 % use two leadership styles, 20%  use three leadership styles, and only 1% use all four leadership styles.

Recommendations for managers (more…)

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All leaders, regardless of sector, are facing unprecedented levels of disruption and uncertainty about the future reports HR Director Lucy Adams.

In the following article, she shares her thoughts on how to lead through these difficult times.

When running various organisational change sessions with leaders and managers one question would often come up – “when are things going to settle down?” It was understandable, if unrealistic. These leaders were often exhausted, having had numerous complex and frequently competing changes dumped on them from on high. Their people were anxious and they felt unable to reassure. They were trying to manage through the disruption of digitisation, new competition, or the need for greater collaboration, while not letting current quality levels dip and having to reduce costs. Sound familiar? All leaders, regardless of sector, are facing unprecedented levels of disruption and uncertainty about the future.

It used to be so much simpler. Remember the days when you had a 'change management' plan and you could plot it out on an Excel spreadsheet? It had a beginning, a middle and, most importantly, an end, and change was seen as a sequential linear activity. Not anymore. These days change is unending, unpredictable and as linear as a bowl of spaghetti.

So how can leaders gear up to cope with the levels and pace of disruption that is now required of them? We used to believe that if leaders worked more, knew more, planned more, controlled more then they could manage better. The truth is that just trying to do more no longer works. Leaders have a finite amount of hours, energy and resilience and trying to stay on top of, and control, the changes they are required to lead is ultimately futile.


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Leadership has been in the spotlight as never before, as people around the world look to their leaders in all spheres of social, political and organisational life. Rather than help, though, leaders often seem to be part of the problem.

When it comes to politicians, fingers are often pointed at the leaders of political parties for failing to provide a clear vision, for their personal moral failings, or for their inability to deliver on their promises.

Theresa May, the UK prime minister, was widely blamed for the Conservative party’s poor performance in the country’s 2017 general election. Her robotic mantra of “strong and stable” leadership was much-criticised.

Meanwhile, a seemingly never-ending flow of news reports catalogue US President Donald Trump’s alleged lies and question his fitness for office. Conversely, there has been a growing trend for politicians around the world to back or block policies for moral, as opposed to economic reasons.

In organisational settings, we often hear that levels of trust in leaders are at an all-time low in the wake of the financial crisis, a series of corporate scandals, and the ongoing challenges faced by employees in securing “good work”.


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An organisation is made up of people and when people are involved, emotions automatically come into play, and a workplace is no different.

It would be unwise to assume that a workplace is all objective, no-emotion only performance kind of a packed room where hormones have no scope to creep in, however, the fact is that emotions alone are the biggest motivator or de-motivator of an employee.

The emotions alone, govern the performance and efficiency of a worker and had it not been the case, we would have never talked about the importance of work-life balance and for the present context, the need of emotionally intelligent leaders.

The current times are very dynamic not just economically but also socially where the social fabric is rapidly evolving due to globalisation and other influences. The average age of the workforce is reducing and the leaders now look forward to managing people belonging to different cultures and backgrounds. In such a situation, it is important for a leader to be highly sensitised to the emotional aspects of his/her transactions with people.

Emotional Intelligence is basically the ability to recognise and understand one’s own feelings and emotions as well as those of others and use that information to manage emotions and relationships.

The 4 important aspects of EI as proposed by Daniel Goleman are:

  • Self Awareness
  • Self Management
  • Social Awareness
  • Relationship Management or Social Skills

A leader tends to have a huge influence on the thoughts and motivation of people. He/she has the capacity to enthuse optimism and confidence in the followers and lead them to constructive endeavours which is called resonance and on the other hand they can negatively influence them to destruct, e.g of such leaders being Hitler and d Osama Bin Laden which is opposite to resonance called desonance. (more…)

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The following are the top ten articles about leadership posted by McKinsey.

1. What makes a CEO 'exceptional'? McKinsey assessed the early movers of CWOs with outstanding track records; some valuable lessons for leadership transitions emerged.

2. High-performing teams: A timeless leadership topic.  CEOs and senior executives can employ proven techniques to create top-team performance.

3. Why effective leaders must manage up, down, and sideways  Strong team leadership isn’t enough. Research shows the importance—for business impact and career success—of also mobilizing your boss and colleagues.

4. Culture for a digital age Risk aversion, weak customer focus, and siloed mind-sets have long bedeviled organizations. In a digital world, solving these cultural problems is no longer optional.

5. What’s missing in leadership development? Only a few actions matter, and they require the CEO’s attention.

6. Memo to the CEO: Are you the source of workplace dysfunction? Rudeness and bullying are rife, says Stanford professor Bob Sutton. Wise leaders figure out how to fix their teams and organizations; and they start by taking a long look in the mirror.

7. How functional leaders become CEOs Limited operational experience is not necessarily a barrier to the top job. Here’s what CFOs and others must do to jump to the next level.

8. Putting lifelong learning on the CEO agenda In an open letter to business leaders, a Harvard Business School professor and a learning engineer at the Chan Zuckerberg Initiative present an emphatic case to make learning a corporate priority.

9. How technology is changing the job of the CEO What we learned when more than 75 chief executives and board chairs gathered to share concerns and offer one another advice.

10. Time for a new gender-equality playbook The old one isn’t working. We need bolder leadership and more exacting execution.


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